“So here’s the thing…

ok, so we put a cute little bird feeder in the front of the house. It sits on a pole just outside the window so we can watch the birds come and eat without having it hanging off the house’s gutters or anything. It was really great… at first.

These cute little brown puff-balls were the first to show up. It was a good learning experience for Keegan especially because it got him using his Encarta program (kid-friendly encyclopedia-type software you download onto the computer so they can search for stuff without getting on the actual web and finding porn by accident or something crazy like that. I highly recommend it… Encarta, not the porn. LOL!)

Anyway, we’d watch for what birds showed up each day and then read about them on the computer. The first ones were House Finches. Cute little birds. The males develop red feathers on their chest as they get older. Then Swallows. Pretty little birds (maybe 3″ or 4″) that have a dark blue coloring to them on top of brown feathers. We even had a cardinal show up! Very pretty! Notice I’ve described our LITTLE birdies, afterall, it isn’t a big bird feeder.

But then THEY showed up! Huge black birds with green-purplish heads, 8″ or 9″ inches long at least. They started swooping in and knocking the little birds off the perches. They’d poke their beaks into the small bins of food (where the seed falls gradually as the birds eat it) and toss all the little seeds onto the ground so they could pick out the larger bits of dried raisins or sunflower seeds. They’re horrible! They’re mean!… They’re BULLIES!

Read up on those little !@#$! (or Starlings as they’re known in bird-watcher books) and you’ll see how they’re basically aggressive birds that will actually watch other birds build a nest and then chase them out of it! They are like the Fowl Mafia or something! And worse yet, apparently humans go thru great pains trying to get rid of these vermin because of the havoc their feces can wreak on roofs, mortor and stone! Good God! How am I supposed to get rid of these little monsters without having to tear down the feeder for all the other birds!? In the great words of Alex the Lion, “Darn you! Darn you to heck!”

Any suggestions are appreciated. Jason says we should kill one of them and put its head on a stick as a warning to the others, but that may be a little too excessive… FOR NOW anyway.