Archive for the 'Tomfoolery' Category
Subsidy2007 April 7 by Daddy
Microsoft is reportedly considering subsidizing the Zune music player by offering Zunes free to anyone who signs up for a Zune Pass (to their online music store). This isn’t terribly interesting to all that many folk, but I mention it because of this one terrific quote from a Microsoft spokesperson. When asked if Microsoft planned [...]
Abbyims, Part VIII2007 March 30 by Daddy
Everyone is riding in the van. Abby has just learned about the Easter story at school. Momma: “Abby, tell Daddy about Easter.” Abby: “God died on a cross, and then he got buried, and then he rose again!” Momma: “How long did it take him to rise again?” Abby: (thinks for a bit) “About forty [...]
A Translation From Confusionese to English of a Domain Registry of America Domain Name Expiration Notice *2007 February 21 by Daddy
As a courtesy to domain name holders, we are sending you this notification of the domain name registrations that are due to expire in the next few months. See how we’ve bold-faced the first three words of this sentence. This is our way of complying with regulators who say we must make it clear that [...]
Abbyisms, Part VII2007 February 16 by Daddy
Momma, Abigail and Alex are discussing how the children are not to answer the phone unless Momma asks them to. Alexander: “Right, because it could be a stranger.” Abigail: (seriously) “And a stranger might try and take me to another island!“
Abbyisms, Part VI2007 February 14 by Daddy
Abigail and Daddy have just spent a few minutes looking through Abigail’s baby book, which contains several photos of everyone in the family. Abigail is now in bed reading books with her brother. Momma is nearby, playing a game on the computer. Abigail: (to Daddy) “I liked that shirt you were wearing in that picture, [...]
Abbyisms, Part V2006 October 31 by Daddy
Momma, Alexander and Abigail are all in Momma and Daddy’s bed, while Daddy is standing at the foot of the bed. Daddy: (to Momma) “What are you doing?” Momma: “I’m about to call my mother.” Abigail: (to Daddy) “Grandma is her mudder!”
Alexanderisms, Part V2006 July 18 by Daddy
Momma is reading to Alexander and Abigail. The story is Cinderella. Cinderella has just run from the ball, and the clock has struck midnight. Alexander is looking at an illustration of the aftermath. Alexander: “That’s the mice that used to be the coachmen. That’s the pumpkin that used to be the carriage. So why is [...]
Whereupon I Finally Write Something2006 July 13 by Daddy
And yet, few of you will consider this post worthy of breaking a near two-month silence. But that’s your issue to deal with, not mine. I only need to write what I like. If you want fun, go visit someone else. (Now, don’t go crying. I’m not being harsh. You brought it on yourself.) Anyway, [...]
Abbyisms, Part IV2006 May 9 by Daddy
Grandma Jones is staying with the Simon family for a day or two. Abigail is at the side door, looking for her mother. Abigail: “Momma! Momma!” Daddy: “What is it, honey? What do you need?” Abigail: “I need Momma.” Daddy: “How about Daddy?” Abigail: “How about Grandma?”
Abbyisms, Part III2006 April 16 by Daddy
The Simon family is driving in the van. Daddy begins to ask Momma a question. Daddy: “If you’re busy …” Abigail: “I am busy! I BUSY!”