Archive for the 'Tomfoolery' Category
Shuffling Along2008 July 30 by Daddy
Shamed by the likes of people who bike to work and challenged by my assistant coach, I have decided to once again give running a try. (Stop … stop that. Stop. Really. You look ridiculous all doubled over in laughter like that.) Granted, what I do isn’t exactly “running” at the moment. It’s probably closer [...]
Mommaisms, Part I2008 July 25 by Daddy
The Simon family is in the living room. Daddy: “Abby, are you wearing a pull-up?” Abby: “No, underwear.” Alex: “You are? Let me see!” Daddy: “Alex, you don’t ever ask any girl if you can see her underwear.” Momma: “Until you’re married. Then you can ask all you want and it won’t make any difference [...]
Alexanderisms, Part VII2008 July 13 by Daddy
Daddy has just arrived home from a weekend at Western Michigan with his volleyball team, and he and Momma are sitting at the computers. As Daddy gets up to help Abby, he pauses to give Momma a kiss. Alexander: (as he walks into the room) “Awww … what a kodiak moment!”
Abbyisms, Part IX2008 May 19 by Daddy
Daddy, Alexander and Abigail are driving in the van. Momma is out of town with Grandma. The kids have been told that Momma will be bringing something home for each of them. Alexander: “I bet it’s something really cool.” Abigail: “I think it’s a ball!” Daddy: “Why do you think it’s a ball, Abby?” Abigail: [...]
I Knew It2008 February 20 by Daddy
Just a click away. So it really is for sale!
Separated2008 February 18 by Daddy
So I was watching some highlights (lowlights?) of the Roger Clemens congressional hearings (don’t these guys have better things to do?) last week, and I was struck that I’d seen Henry Waxman, the chairman of that committee, somewhere before. And then it hit me — Harry Potter. I’m sure I’m not the first to figure [...]
Grizzly2008 January 1 by Daddy
Happy New Year! So some of you know (or have seen firsthand) that I grew a “playoff beard” during volleyball season. I stopped shaving sometime around mid-October, and told the girls I wouldn’t shave until we lost in the postseason. As it would happen (and as readers are aware), we didn’t lose until the state [...]
Alexanderisms, Part VI2007 December 29 by Daddy
The Simon family is leaving Culvers on a cold, snowy evening. Daddy is clearing off the van. Abigail and Alexander left their gloves and hats at home. Alexander and Abigail: (in singsong unison)“I’m cold! I’m cold! I’m cold! I’m cold!” Daddy starts the van and begins to pull out of the parking lot. Alexander: “Wait! [...]
The Nigerian Nightmare2007 May 30 by Daddy
Really, it wasn’t much different in real life. And for the record, Tecmo Super Bowl may have been the greatest sports video game of all time. Seriously.
The Greatest Comedy Duo of All Time2007 May 18 by Daddy